Everything is Perfect

Well I decided to start blogging. My posts usually aren't too exciting...but I figured it would be a good way for me to vent when I needed it. Actually to be honest I'm not sure if it will help or not, but I was told by someone that it would be a good thing to do and she's usually right. Its worth a shot I guess.

Trying to find a place to start from is hard.

I'm the type of person who always tries to cheer other people up. People think my life is easy and that I don't have many problems because I'm always very energetic, outgoing, smiling, and basically the life of the party. They think everything is great for me. However, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

No one really knows my full story or my true outlook on things. There is only one person who knows about half of it (the same person who encouraged me to blog) but other than that no one comes close. I have a problem with building walls around myself and keeping things bottled up inside. Over the years that has begun to chip away at me and I'm becoming less and less happy.

But no one knows because I keep smiling. I let them sit there and think I'm doing great when in reality I'm no where close to great. Everything is not perfect...and I'm tired of smiling. I don't feel much like actually explaining whats going on in my life tonight but either tomorrow night or Monday I'll start getting up to speed.