What's in the Punch?

Well Wicked was, as always, amazing. Our seats were really close to the stage, it was freaking awesome. I could go through and break down what I thought of each characters performance, but you'd die of boredom and I don't want that. I didn't like a couple of the people in this group, but even though they weren't the greatest (greatest being the original cast...closest to greatest now is the Chicago cast to me) I still enjoyed it.

I just felt the need to inform the people who read this that it was in fact fantastic. Loved it. And bought a new wicked shirt. :D I can't wait to have everything from the Oz Dust Boutique. lol. Its my new goal. The shirt I bought is a black zip up hoodie...it was $65. I kind of almost had a stoke. Its a shame I think its worth it. I'm going to go broke, but at least I'll have a totally unnecessary amount of Wicked items. :) Its time for bed. Work in the morning, boo. haha.

Lemons and melons and pears.
Oh my!
(that line cracks me up sorry. lol)

Time is Ticking on, We Don't Get a Second Shot

Short post tonight. I think. Hell I don't know I ramble. There I go!

Tomorrow I'm going to see Wicked!!! Who is excited? ME! Obsessed? Why of course I am. lol Due to the crazy weather in the tri-state area all shows this week were cancelled except the Saturday ones (woo) The people who had tickets for a show that was cancelled with be given tickets to a show when Wicked returns to that city in May of 2010. I would have been so pissed! But thankfully its back on tomorrow so its party time!

I'm still super sore. That's alright though. At least I haven't busted my ass any more. However, the last time I wiped out on the ice was exceptionally graceful in the most ungraceful way. Pure talent I tell you!

Well I am off to go snuggle into the warmth of my disturbingly comfortable bed. I haven't slept in it in 4 days! I can't wait to pass out! lol

And in 60 years, we gotta face our fears, and show the cards we've got...

Only Love Can Bring the Rain

I hurt. My bones. My muscles. My skin. I think my hair hurts? I'm not sure...trying to decide hurts. lol. I'm not all mopey and just sitting and bitching about it. I actually start cracking up every time I move. I think its hilarious. Its a lovely story...lets begin!

Tuesday I had to be at work at 330. It takes me 30-35 minutes on a good day to get there. Well Tuesday, as anyone who reads this knows, we were being attacked by a rather vicious winter storm. I was damn determined to go to work because I am in fact retarded. =) So even though I didn't have to be at work until 330 I started my car warming up at 1030. I figured leaving early and staying at my sisters wouldn't be a bad idea...plus I wanted my car to heat up some. I got back in my car at 1046ish. I got out of my driveway at 1217. HA! So, for anyone that hasn't been to my house there is a dip to get into the driveway and it is slightly slanted away from the road because of the hill I live on. I drive a damn boat of a car. My old taurus. I pushed that heavy p.o.s. out onto the road. I fell...I don't know how many times. There was about ten minutes where I just sat on the ice and laughed hysterically. After my small meltdown (which didn't help melt any thing other than my patience) I got back up and attempted to shovel some of the ice out of the way which of course didn't help.So I went back to pushing my heavy freaking car and eventually got it out onto the road. Who is amazing? This kid!

And what do I have to show for it? Hardly being able to walk the next day. Its really cracking me up. My hips and back hurt. My arms hurt. My legs hurt a little but not that bad. I don't care though, I'm still pretty BA for moving that shit over the lift to the road, on the ice, while being pelted in the face by sleet. Woot. It would have been great to have help though, but no one was home. Oh well.

I need to get to bed. Its almost midnight and I have to wake up early to go to work. Actually Buy Low hasn't had power since 10 Tuesday night...and they don't think we will get it back until Saturday. But I'm at my sister's so its just down the road and I might as well check it out in the morning.

Love, reign over me. Rain on me.

If I Ever Leave This World Alive

I don't know why but I love the song 'if i ever leave this world alive' by Flogging Molly. Actually I do know I guess but its hard to put into words completely. Know what I mean or am I making shit up? Don't judge me. lol.

I can't make up my mind. I'm happy but I feel like I'm drowning. I had this good thing going where my dad and I didn't talk. Like at all. It made living together so much easier. He decided to break that and now we are fighting bad again because I've won back my title as the worthless, stupid fucking bitch. I hear I'm like world champion. And I don't even get a medal or trophy or anything. Sigh. I'm trying to be happy. I'm damn fighting for it. But I just feel so smothered. Its worse now. The fighting and just overall mood at my house. I'm finally happy again though and I'm going to hold onto every last shred of it. I don't want to think like I used to.

Less than a week until Wicked. How excited am I? Very doesn't even begin to cover it.

So I freaked out earlier because I thought I lost part of one of my most valued things from my senior year. I enjoy having things to look back at over the years and such. I was given a bear near the end of my senior season of fall marching band/guard. It came with a note my instructor had written. I had the bear out sitting on my stereo but then I got my new desk and got rid of the stereo in my room and the bear was on a shelf in my closet. I got the bear back out to set it next to a picture frame filled with marching band/guard photos. I couldn't find the note and actually got really upset. lol. I might have destroyed my closet looking for it. But then I remembered I had put it with some cards under my bed. lol. I'm stupid. I know it seems silly to get upset about it but there are some things like that really mean a lot to me. Idk. Don't judge. lol. Most things from my senior year aren't like that. There are probably like 2 or 3 other things I'd be truly upset if I lost. But I enjoy my bear. I cried when I got it. I tried not to but I don't think anyone noticed anyway. lol. Long story short, I found the damn note and all is right in the world of keepsakes. lol

Ok I'm done with the random information for today. Time for bed.

The madness that you feel will soon subside. So in a word don't shed a tear, I'll be here when it all gets weird. If I ever leave this world alive...

Save Tonight and Fight the Break of Dawn

I'm in a great mood today. I might have opened up a tiny can of ginger wrath at work and got out of my shift today. :) I'm sorry when was the last time Kathryn had a Friday off? I actually have no idea it was a damn long time ago though. But someone told me I should stick up for myself so I did and came slightly unglued on a manager about my bullshit hours. I mean I get good hours in the sense of like how many I get. I actually get more than what I ask for. But I get ridiculous times and anytime someone else has a problem with when they work they fix it by changing my schedule to make them happy without even asking me. I mean seriously, what the hell is that? But I actually got this Friday AND next Friday off now. lol. I hardly know what to do with myself. And why, may I ask whoever is reading this, is this person ALWAYS right? Is it healthy to always be right? I mean damn doesn't that get tiring? I'm jealous. lol. Thanks again.

Random. I don't know why but at work I go by Kathryn. I do it in all of my classes too. A couple professors have even asked if I'd rather be called Katie or Kate or something but I still go by Kathryn. By the way, do not call me Kate. I don't know why but I hate being called Kate and it will kind of piss me off, especially if you know I hate it. lol. Its strange hearing Kathryn all the time now. Of course the other day at work Te actually paged me over the intercom as Ginger. lol. She watches South Park, too. I will never get rid of that nickname. Thank you AL. lol. I don't mind though. But I don't know why I felt the need to bring that up. Its a random thought in my head right now. People I already knew that work at BL with me were like why the hell does your tag say Kathryn? lol Good question! I'm the only person named Kathryn that works there though. Sometimes when I am paged I don't realize its for me and I take a while to answer because I'm like no they are paging Kathryn...oh shit that's me. Genius I tell you!

I'm sad because tomorrow I don't get to go to the Danville WG competition. :( I was really hoping to get off but instead I got a 3-10 shift. However, I was happy to hear that my favorite guard of all time (lol) won't be competing next week because I wasn't going to be able to go to that either because I'm going to see Wicked. I'm looking forward to going to one soon though. Lets hope I make it to some good ones.

I think its time for sleep. I'm so ready to pass out. Until next time...

Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone.

Just One Foot Wrong

Finally! I have a free day! I'm so excited about it. I've had the most ridiculous hours at work. This past week (and weekend) really wore me out. I was either at school, work, or trying to entertain my nephew. I discovered if I squish my cheeks just right I can coax a smile. If I get really lucky I can get a little giggle. Its hard work. lol. I love that kid.

So, lets have a serious talk for a second. I mentioned in my last post about being upset about something and then I decided not to talk about it but I changed my mind because I got pissed off. May of my junior year, what happened? Anyone? Any guesses? A friend died. That's what happened for anyone who is confused. He was in a car crash. He did not die right away. He was in the hospital, in ICU. What did I do? I went home after the band banquet. I went home. I said no I'll go see him after school tomorrow. Third period the next day what happened? Anyone remember? We found out he died that morning. That was my friend, and I went home. I didn't go see him. That upsets me every time I hear about him. Still. Now here is where I get pissed off. I know I should let it go. I know this. But I can't. I still can't forgive myself for not going to the hospital to see him. Do not, DO FUCKING NOT tell me "Oh well you need to forgive yourself because you can't change it now." Yes, I know I can't change it now jackass, that's the fucking problem! Reminding me that I can't change that mistake does not make me feel better and I don't understand why someone thinks that saying that will make it ok. I know I should let it go but I will always feel terrible for it. So telling me to just get over it because its in the past doesn't help. I know he had other friends there but that isn't what matters. I don't care how many people were there, I wasn't. I don't care that he was unconscious and people weren't allowed to see him anyway so he wouldn't have known I was there, he was a friend and I should have been there. This bothers me almost every day. Sometimes not as much as others but almost every day it crosses my mind at some point. A person that has a heart, goes to see their friend if they are in a terrible accident.

Despite my strange, constant level of happiness, this brings me down. A lot. I don't know why I felt the need to talk about that certain issue though. If I blogged about all the things that haunt me and steal my sleep, we'd be here quite some time....

That's my rant for the week. Well that's assuming I don't get pissed off or upset enough to have a blog bitch session. Can it be done?

You'll have to love me when I'm gone.

So Just Say How to Make it Right

Well my friend got fired. Needless to say I was really pissed off when I found out and its a damn good thing I wasn't at work when I did. I can't help but be concerned for her. She's very...emotionally unstable. She has terrible thoughts sometimes and I worry. She has a lot of problems and needs some more positive things to happen. Now that she has lost her job and is more upset I worry that she will make bad decisions with out thinking things through. I just worry about her doing something now that another negative thing has been added to her load. I hope to keep in touch though and get to hangout with her and talk more to act as a more positive addition. I don't mean barging into her business or anything like that, I just mean showing her to have fun and getting her to laugh more. I know how much that can really help sometimes and she isn't getting that help from anyone else. We'll see what happens I guess...

Though I was not the happiest when I went into work yesterday I left in a fabulous mood. Te was working and had me cracking up as usual. I also might have pretty much mauled a door. No, I did not walk into it, I mauled the damn thing. It actually hurt pretty bad but it was one of the highlights of the night, I won't lie. lol. I have a wicked bruise on my left shoulder and its really tender now. I hate when I hurt myself and can't even play it off as though I meant to do it. If I fall I'm like "Oh yeah...uh..no I...I dropped something and needed to pick it up...that's why...I'm uh...down here. cough" (btw that's pretty much the closest I could get to typing it how I'd really say it and if you know me well enough you'd know that is exactly how I'd say it. lol) But anyway I was about as NOT graceful as you can be when you walk into a door. I swear it was open when I started walking towards it but then it closed so...yeah it got me. Bastard. But anyway last night was my favorite night at work so far actually. We were really dead and all the managers and cashiers were on break except me and Te so for like two and a half hours (with a slight break for me to go throwing myself into metal objects) we just sat around and goofed off. it was awesome. lol.

I'm currently upset about something. Had a little crying session on my way home from my last class today. I'm trying to push it away but its been hovering over me since May of my junior year. I guess I'll vent in my next post maybe...I just don't want to now.

The rest of my day on the other hand has been good. I LOVE my social work class. Its the first class I have each day I have school and its my favorite. Perfect start to my day.

Well I need to get going I guess. I need to figure out something so I'm not home when my dad gets here but I have no where to go. This is a problem.

And I swear I'll do my best to comply.

I Just Need a Compass

Well the time has come again. The time for the start of a new semester with new classes and stresses. I pretty much love the schedule I'm on. I have classes from 10 to 1 (50 minutes each with ten minutes between to scurry to the next) then I have an hour break, one more class at 2 then I'm done at 2:50. That's Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and then I'm off on Tuesday and Thursday for work. I could go into work on Monday and Wednesday nights but I won't be losing any hours for requesting those two days off anyway, I had those off last semester. However that means I work Friday nights (gross) but at least it gives me time during the week for homework. Not to mention those random times I feel the need to go out on a weeknight, which are becoming more common, and I love it. haha. I can't help myself, I'm very social. And if that means losing valuable sleep some nights then so be it.

So I might have put off buying my books for this semester. I really need to do it but I don't want to fork out the money for it because I'm paying for them myself. I don't have to, I could ask my mom and she'd be more than happy to get them, but I don't like asking for help. She said she'd pay for all my books through college and I'd have to handle tuition and such later. I didn't remind her of that this semester and I'm probably going to regret that later. I'm going to get them on my own and have like a good 23 cents left to my name. I'll have more than that of course but my books are way more expensive this semester and I've been putting it off because I hate having to pay that much money for something that shouldn't cost so much. I mean seriously unless that shit is engraved in pure gold...its not worth it.

One of my friends at work might get fired over a bullshit report. They were saying she did something that I know didn't happen because I was there. She's been suspended for the week while the store manager reviews her file and decides if she can stay. There are a lot of people who were there when the event DIDN'T happen who back her up but they are being stupid anyway. She's a good worker and has been there like a year and hasn't had any problems so I'm not sure where this is coming from. She was pretty upset though and I felt bad for her being set up. If she gets fired I'm probably going to get fired because I'm so going to lose my temper on someone. lol. Its such bullshit and they are such a crooked company, she's a good person and doesn't deserve to get a bad rap for something that didn't happen.

Despite the fact that I'm currently pissed at some of the management for this crap, I'm looking forward to work tomorrow. Its senior citizen day, which is by far the worst day of the week; however, I don't work until 4 when it starts to get a little darker so it won't be as busy. Yay. Plus Te is working so if I get pissed off I got my backup plan to stay chipper. lol. I would have been able to work with my other good friend as well but since they suspended her, whatever. Yes I'm bitter. lol. That's okay me and Te are so going to have a party anyway. Woo.

I'm going to bed now. Oh how I do enjoy the days I don't have an alarm to wake me up. =)

And a willing accomplice.

I Think I'll Try Defying Gravity

It is super freaking hot in my room. Which is strange because its usually super freaking cold. Odd.

Anyway, this past weekend was fun. I worked with all my favorite people Saturday and Sunday. Always a nice plus. haha. Unfortunately though my new school schedule screwed up my work hours and I have like no hours this week. I had four days off. In a row. I'm losing my mind. I have a headache just because I'm bored.

Monday I helped one of my sister's move.

Tuesday I fixed my bank account because something got screwed up and then met with someone at USI to fix my schedule. I liked it the way it was, but I can't have it messing with my work schedule. I like my new schedule even better though and it fits perfect with my work hours. Woo.

As for today, well nothing is really happening. I watched a movie. Cleaned. Made plans for later. Cleaned. And now I'm here. Its only 12:37 and I could very well lose my mind.

I can't wait to go back to school. Less than week! Don't get me wrong as soon as I start losing sleep because of my schedule and stressing over assignments I'm going to start complaining about it, lol, but I can't stand to do nothing. I'd rather be ripping my hair out freaking that there's not enough time to get anything done than bashing my head against the wall wishing there were less hours in the day. I like to stay busy. I've never looked forward to going to work so much. lol. However, I don't go back until Friday. Friday afternoon to be exact, I don't even get to wake up early.

I find myself constantly in a good mood and its strange. I've had a couple recent changes in things that should probably not make me happy but yet I'm still smiling and rather chipper. Either my way of thinking has helped me or I've actually gone insane. I think I'm just finally happy. I broke up with my boyfriend and while that should have made me kind of sad I'm actually excited. Thats terrible. Maybe gingers really don't have souls. lol. But there was a good reason behind it that I'm not discussing here. Actually there were two, but no one gets to hear about the second one. But regardless of that mess I'm very happy. I've had a very serious switch in my outlook on things. Its kind of freaking me out. lol.

Well I guess I'm going to go find something to do. I'd like to get out of my house but I'm waiting for some laundry to finish. Damn. I should be able to escape eventually though. Then I'm going to go watch my little nephew for awhile, then out tonight. Woo.

And you can't pull me down.

They Call Me Quiet Girl

Today sucked. Work was terrible except for getting to work with a few people there today and one surprise visit from a friend. :) I just realized I haven't talked to my boyfriend all day. I'm such a slacker. But I was at work most of the day so it's not really my fault. Actually it is but I like to make excuses. I'm scatter brained and I forgot about him for a couple hours. lol. My bad.

Tonight I plan on going to bed early. I'm tired. Plus I have like a 7 hour shift tomorrow in the morning. I hope there are less pissy people tomorrow. Of course even if there are more it will be worth it. Me and Te are going to have too much damn fun tomorrow regardless of what bullshit we have to take from customers. Its impossible for us to not have fun. lol. And we are long overdue for one of our shifts together. Woo.

I guess I need to go give the bf a call and make sure he's alive. Then its off to bed and I can't wait. Lol. I love sleep.

But I'm a Riot

New Year, New Hope

Well its now 2009. I'm really hoping this year will be better than last. I'm pretty sure it has to be because one good thing, the birth of my nephew, was the only good thing to happen all year. Everything else was basically not good. At least from my point of view it wasn't.

I find it somewhat sad that its one o'clock in the morning right now and I'm already back home. This is my usual time to come home when I am out, so of course I planned on staying out later tonight (staying out later as in getting back home about 10 or 11 the next morning) because that's how I usually roll. But I wasn't feeling the greatest so I called it an early night. I still had fun though, I just wanted to get home and sleep. But here I am. lol. I'm still having a lot of pain in my head and its starting to make me want to vomit. I would have enjoyed staying at my boyfriend's place longer to hang out with the people there but I was kind of worried I'd end up vomiting in front of them which just doesn't sound like a good end to the night. Plus, they have a doberman and I'm kind of scared of it, but they don't know that. lol.

I hope that with this new year comes new beginnings for not only myself but some friends of mine. A few of them have been struggling with different issues in their lives and I pray that the time will come soon for their problems end. It kills me to know any of my friends are sad about something, and the bigger the problem is the more upset I get, even though I haven't had some of their problems and don't understand how they feel. I know nothing can be perfect and no one will ever be 100% happy all the time but knowing that there is a major issue screwing stuff up for them depresses me. And knowing I can't do or say anything to make it the slightest bit better upsets me more. So, I hope that 2009 holds good news for my friends because some of them are long overdue for some positive feedback from the big guy upstairs.