Surprisingly Awesome

Today was awesome. I had a lot of fun. I did have to deal with a big retard bothering me for most of the day, but I'll just try to forget about that. This whole weekend has been great. Lets recap shall we?

Friday I stayed in and watched the presidential debate. Holy cow my life is exciting. However it was very interesting. I hadn't paid much attention to the race yet but I had pretty much had my mind made up all ready so the debate just kind of finalized that. By the way, yay for Obama. :) Since I decided to stay in Friday I got my down time. I got to have one of those nights where I can just be alone and no one talks to me. I didn't really need it, but that doesn't mean its not nice every once in awhile anyways.

Saturday, party day. The bruise still hurts and its kind of fun to push on. Not much to say about it though because my last post was all about it. I know people don't like when other people my age drink, and I don't really either if they are being stupid. If they are with family or something and they can't possibly do something stupid, I don't care. Honestly for people my age I'm doing pretty good for not drinking much. Especially considering the kinds of parties I get invited to. A lot of people I know are wasted every weekend and then quite a few nights during the week. I could be too if I felt the need to accept some invitations but I don't. That's stupid. So while it may seem like a bad idea, every once in awhile isn't that bad when you think about what I could get into if I even accepted half the invitations. That's my slight rant on what people have to say. Guess that covers it.

Sunday, today, bomb. Hung out with C and A for a bit. I'll ignore the fact that the jackass Karen of the group was there. But we had fun. Then I got to hang out with KB for a bit which was nice because I don't get to see her much now. She's crazy busy. I also got to hang out with AB for a few hours along with a few other friends. I've seen her more the past few weeks than usual. But its just been for short little periods of time. Today was the first time we've actually got to do something instead of exchange a quick hello. Later on, I went over to her house for a couple hours. Always a good time there. I love her family.

So, basically I'm in a crazy good mood. I guess its because I was partying with my second fam. haha. I'm always in a great mood when I leave their house. :)

Screw You Oscar

So, its 3 in the morning. I just got back from a party. Sorry if parts of this don't make sense. My side hurts. Its bruised. I got hit with a freaking hot dog. Which, I found out, are actually pretty hard. I would not recommend getting hit by one. It may not sound like it would be bad but...when one of those little bastards gets chucked into your side, that shit hurts for real.

I don't usually go out to parties and drink. However, it is fun from time to time and that's what I did tonight. Or last night or whatever. I always make sure to make smart choices though. I make sure at least one friend I can trust or one of my sisters is sober to make sure I can't get into any stupid crap. However, I usually know whats going on anyway. I don't go to the point where I pass out or anything, that is dumb, and though some nights I have drank a lot, I remember everything the next day. I check details with whoever was sober just to check. haha. Anyways, I usually just drink until I get really talkative (when am I not?) and I get the giggles. Bad. If you think I talk a lot when I'm sober, you have no idea. You would probably want to punch me if you saw me drunk cause I decide to talk about everything...at the same time. And then laugh about it. But I really don't drink that often. The last time I drank before tonight was early May sometime.

People at the party who were drunk thought it would be fun to have a hot dog fight. That's how I got sniped. I got hit twice, once in the side and another time that got my cup and caused my drink to like explode in my hand. Sticky freaking mess. Whoever threw the one that hit me in the side is so lucky I had some alcohol in me or I would have been pissed. I kind of was anyway but just laughed. I can't believe it actually bruised. That's some Oscar Meyer bullshit right there.

Sure, Why Not?

Well I am again running on very little sleep. Late last night just as I was about to finally drift off, I got a text message from a friend. She was upset about something and we ended up talking for two hours. If she hadn't texted me I would have been able to get a good bit of rest in. But that's okay.

I always tell people that they can call me anytime they need me, even if that means 3 in the morning. I mean it too. She (the one who I was talking to last night) is the only one who has ever tested that. One morning she called me sometime around 2. I was asleep and of course enjoying my rest but I got up and talked to her for about an hour or so. I told her I hadn't been sleeping so she didn't feel bad about calling. She's called quite a few times at crazy hours, and I always answered even if I was half awake and had no idea whats going on for the first few minutes. I don't mind, I really don't. I'm glad that people trust me and come to me with their problems. I'd prefer to talk to them during normal hours of the day but I don't really care if what time it is.

So, MK just asked (on fb) if I was in class right now. Yes and no. haha. I'm sitting in my psych class right now, but maybe not mentally here. I'm bored and due to lack of sleep, I have about the same attention span as a goldfish. My laptop battery is slowly dwindling away and I'm really hoping it makes it to the end of class because if not I don't know what I'll do. Yes, there is always the option of taking notes, but that sure as hell isn't happening today.

This is taking me forever to write because my mind is everywhere and I have to concentrate really hard just to complete each sentence. lol. That's kind of sad. I'm all ADHD over here. But after this class I'm going to run home, maybe take a power nap (probably not) and then come back for my other 2 classes. Yay. I'm totally going to count on getting some super strong coffee to wake me up. None of that crazy Starbucks stuff, I mean like for real plain, punch you in the face and wake your ass up coffee. Well I guess I should pay more attention to Dr. S. Or I should check my email before turning off my computer. We'll see...

Long Nights

So, I was looking at my yearbook today from my senior year because I was bored. I miss high school. I mean I don't but I do. That doesn't make sense. I was always really involved and rarely home. That's what I miss. I was in band, clubs, track, tutored kids, did guard for a bit, and all kinds of other things. I really miss guard. As for classes, I don't miss homework of course, but then again I rarely did mine anyway unless it was for English class. (I could go a whole year without doing homework in one class, but I never missed one assignment in English.) I usually enjoyed my classes though because, of course, if I am in them they had to be fun. : )

It sucks not being involved with as much stuff, but its nice too. I love college. I didn't have bad high school years, I enjoyed them a lot, but you couldn't pay me to trade it for college. A lot of my friends complain about it. They don't like the size of the schools, classes, schedules, the people. I love it all. I love being in class, being on campus, being around new people, I even like doing the homework and look forward to it. I only have four classes right now (12 credit hours) but next semester, and for the rest of my college days, I hope to have more than 4. I also plan on taking summer classes.

I'm tired. Every night I get less and less sleep. Yesterday I almost fell asleep in one of my favorite classes, which is weird because I usually don't even have trouble staying awake in my most boring class. I'm really hoping tonight I can catch up on some sleep. I need it. I guess I'm off to try to fall asleep...

Its the Perfect Time of Year, Somewhere Far Away From Here

Well I didn't get to sleep in. I went to bed about 1:30 and woke up several times throughout the morning and finally gave in about 7:30. Oh well, its more than I get other nights.

I forgot to mention something last night. Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of a friend's death. Obviously it bothers me every time that day comes around but yesterday it seemed to more than usual. I guess because I saw his family and had to talk to them. I wore my pep band shirt from the year he passed away because it had his basketball number on the back. It was once black but now its faded even though I haven't worn it for a long time. Every time I think of him I try not to remember his funeral (because of course who wants to think of that) but I can't help but hear the recording of him they played at the ceremony when he was really little singing 'Jesus Loves Me.' I had held up kind of good until that point, but once they played that I lost it. It still makes me cry every time.

I didn't have time yesterday, but if I do today or tomorrow I'm going to go buy some flowers to put on his grave. They will have to be orange of course, because if you couldn't think of what color to make something his answer was always orange.

I guess that's all I have. I'm off to lose myself in laundry and hopefully plan my escape route to my sister's place.

The Amazing Exploding Knees

Yes, children step right up and witness the amazing exploding knees. We have yet to see them actually explode, but its only a matter of time I'm sure. I think I may amputate. I could totally rock nubs.

So, today I worked at a band invitational from 3:30 to 11. I did concessions which wasn't bad but then for about an hour and a half after that I helped carry crates of bottled drinks and that's what killed me. I'm not tired but lifting that stuff sucks. One isn't that heavy, but doing it repetitively kills your joints. My back and knees are screaming at me.

Totally worth it though because then I got to hang out with AB for awhile after the invitational. I hadn't planned on getting to talk to her at all so I'm not complaining. The two of us haven't gone out for awhile like we used to all the time. I miss our dance parties in my car. lol.

I wasn't going to take any medicine for my joints but I can't take it anymore. Its time for a drug hunt...

Well now that I'm good and drugged up, lets continue shall we?

The worst part about today was that my mom and day where there working too. Well, for part of it at least and then they went and watched bands. But my mom volunteered us all and we had to smile and act like we are fucking peachy and the happiest family ever. Stupid. Two maybe three of her friends know how it is at our house (meaning the constant fighting and bullshit.) To anyone else we are wonderful.

Guess what. I have a secret. Our home...not perfect. Problems? Too many to count. Even what I have told people doesn't scratch the surface. I'm not talking about what I've said on here, I mean like told my friends on the phone or whatever. Not even close to the whole story. Which is funny because there are some days where I complain about it a lot. At home, I never smile. Unless I'm alone. By alone I don't mean in a room alone, I mean no one else in the entire house or on our property. Me not smile? Crazy talk. Recently I was trapped here for like 2 and a half days in a row. I didn't crack one smile. They all probably think I'm a bitch or emo. I don't really care though, if it makes them leave me alone I'm all for it.

I guess I'm done for now. I think my spine might actually try to flee my body because its rioting right now so I should probably go lay down. Hopefully I sleep in late tomorrow. If not, I may have to blog about how not happy I am with my sleeping patterns. Or recent lack thereof. Why do I have trouble sleeping when I enjoy it so much? Dumb. I'm off to snooze now. Wish me luck.

This Pain in My Stomach Won't Go Away

I assume this is punishment for all the mistakes I've made.

I want to curl into a little ball, fall asleep, and not wake up for like 15 hours. I feel like shit. My stomach hurts like hell and I don't know why. Last night about an hour and forty minutes after going to sleep the pain woke me up. I threw up twice. Then passed out on the bathroom floor. I don't mean I was tired so I laid down and went to sleep there, I mean I passed out. I woke up about 30 minutes later still feeling the pain. I pulled my self up onto wobbly legs and stumbled to my room and laid in bed. I didn't even bother turning the light off because I knew I'd have to go vomit again.

I've been having this pain since last Thursday. It gets worse everyday. Today I decided not to eat to see if that helps. I was feeling better earlier this morning but now I'm starting to feel bad again. Damn. I skipped my 9 o'clock class. I hate missing classes, but I couldn't pull myself out of bed.

Right now I'm sitting outside on campus and it feels amazing. I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to make my next class. I may just skip all of them today. Which I really don't want to do but I might have to. I don't think I can sit through an entire class. We'll see.

Its the Alarm Versus Me and the Snooze Button Wins

Do you know what I hate?
Getting out of bed.

Do you know why?
People piss me off.

I can't enjoy a full day. I usually can't enjoy half a day. Someone is always in a pissy mood. Which isn't good because it takes one smartass remark to get me fired up. Sometimes it doesn't even take a remark, just their general behavior if they are in a bad mood. I've always had anger problems, but this is damn ridiculous. My guess is my house.

In my house its all about being on the defense. Always. Someone is always fighting with at least one other person and you have to be ready to be dragged into it somehow. If you aren't pulled into that fight, you will find yourself in a different one. I hate waking up because I hate leaving my room to see whats going to happen. Who will yell at me for something I can't control? Who will tell me I'm a dumbass today? Who will say its my fault that they are in a fight with someone else? Who will complain to me about someone else in the house and get me pulled into the middle?

I can't wait to move out. Living here is going to end up holding me back. Everything is unproductive and negative. I can't stand it. I'm not a negative person but because of all the stupid shit I have to put up with I am becoming less and less optimistic and more angry all the time. I hate it.

Fuck this.

Party of Four

I'm very relieved. Tonight I invited a friend out with some other people and I thought it would be a disaster. I know, I know, why invite someone out if you think it will end up bad? I have no idea. But I did it. And I wouldn't take it back.

There had been some issues between two of these people before and I thought that was going to make it really awkward. I knew they wouldn't get into a fight, I just thought there would be a lot of awkward silence. Then I figured after we had all gone home they would both tell me it was a horrible idea and they had a terrible time.

Come to find out...

They both had a great time! (and so did me and DBP, lol) It was a little weird at first but it went away pretty fast. We all had a lot of fun and there was like nonstop laughter. Whew! I wish that the four of us could hang out more often. Unfortunately, M doesn't really live all that close so it makes it hard to do stuff.

I needed tonight. I mean I always have fun when I go out but tonight was different. It was relief for me. To have two people I talk to a lot finally put it all away and laugh and actually enjoy being around each other. Plus it was also very relieving just because...well actually I don't know. It just was. I guess because we all had a lot of fun and we didn't have to put up with hoping we aren't being judged by what we do or say (someone else who is usually in the group tends to judge us for that and it makes everything suck) I'm so tired but I don't want to go to sleep. I'm in too good of a mood. =)

By the way I love sleep so this is pretty intense if I'm putting it off.

Look Up

Well I have again landed in the library. Turns out...its like my favorite place on campus. Yay.

By the way, do you know how many people go through their lives without looking up? A lot of people do. They never notice things above them. And why not? Hell if I know. I look up all the time expecting some ninja like object to be hurling towards me at an alarming rate. How many times has there been something? About three times I think. Give or take three.

Monday I did not end up getting coffee after that post. Sad. But today I am. I bought one earlier from downstairs and it was pretty nasty. I'm hoping to get a good one to take with me to history. If not, its on USI Starbucks! But I have a gift card so I'm not wasting any of my money.

I'm freaking out about my English class. Tonight it is supposed to be online and the whole thing confuses me (because I'm a dumb ass) and I'm worried I'm going to mess it up. I still have a few hours before I get to that class though so until then I'll just relax and watch the minutes fall away until I can enjoy my lovely beverage.

History class is good stuff. It may end up being my favorite class. Psych is fun but only because I'm on the internet playing games between slides. lol But history is fun and actually makes it hard for your mind to wonder off. The whole class gets very involved in the discussion and Mr. O is goofy so the whole class just has an light, easygoing feel to it. Rather enjoyable if I do say so myself. However, the room they moved the class to is a damn icebox. It was so cold Monday when I went back outside my lungs hurt from the change in temperature.

I was going to read the three essays that we due for English tonight but I have better things to do. Like watch videos on youtube. On one of the essays we had to take a quiz online that could be done before class. There were only five questions but I got them all right. Fact: I rule.

I still have like 50 minutes to waste until History. Dang. Isn't it amazing that I can find things to pass the time with during class but not during my like 2 hour break? Priority fail.

Well I guess that's all I got. Time to move on to something even less productive to pass some time with. Is it possible to find something less productive at the moment? I don't know, but I'll sure as hell try.

Third Floor Party

So, I'm sitting in the library on campus, enjoying my pure awesomeness. I'm waiting for the next class to roll around and thought I'd write a post. I have nothing else to do anyway. That's actually a lie. I could do some homework, but who wants to do that?

There was a girl sitting at a table in front of me but she isn't there now. I must have been completely zoned out because I never saw her get up and walk away. Odd.

History starts in like 45 minutes. I have no idea how I am going to entertain myself for that long. I could go sit outside. But I'm enjoying my shade inside because my eyes are being sensitive to light today. Happens sometimes. I don't have a migraine, my eyes are just sensitive. Some days more than others. That's okay I don't really care.

I might have to stroll downstairs and grab my self a cup of coffee. I love coffee. Which is so not good but I so don't care. Some days. Starbucks is bomb. Well now I've almost talked myself into it dang it.

Today (unlike yesterday) I'm all about being social. I want to talk to people, hangout, go places. However, there is no one here. Figures. But that's okay I guess.

There is someone hauling 5 kinds of ass across campus on a golf cart. Iwonder why they are going that fast.

Good news! I've reached a decision. I'll wait until after class to go to Starbucks. lol. Now I have more to look forward to.

My sternum just popped. I'm not sure if that should pop. It didn't feel too great though.

So, this was totally pointless and random and I'm going to go now. My history class was moved to a new room today and I need to go find it so I'm not late and look like an idiot. yay.

I Will Cut You

Today I am having serious anger issues.

Serious anger issues.

I almost broke something in my room. I've been snapping at people today. Actually I've only been around my parents for the most part today but still. I don't know why. Well let me rephrase that. I know exactly why I have been snapping at my dad, but no clue why I have at my mom.

A few minutes ago I got pissed because she gave me twenty dollars. I didn't need the money, she just gave it to me so I'd have some extra cash this week. I don't know just being random I guess. But for some reason I was pissed off. When does anyone ever get pissed about getting twenty extra dollars? I think I have a fuse off somewhere in my head.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a very social person. I love parties and going out with friends. But sometimes I need like a day where I need to not be around anyone. I mean I don't like curl up in a dark corner and go all emo or anything, I just like to not be around people or at least more than one or two people at a time. I just want to sit and watch tv (which is weird because I really don't watch tv that often. I may listen to it while doing something else but don't usually sit and watch it) or read or something. I want a day to myself, with little social activity, where no one expects anything from me.

Today was one of those days. I guess its like my winding down time. I usually need one at least once a month. I haven't had one like all summer. Since my house has been a total war zone I haven't be able to have a day where I can just sit and chill. Today I needed it really bad and of course people won't leave me alone. I don't mind instant messaging or texting...but I don't want to be surrounded by people. I guess that's why I've been so pissed off all day. I need my down time damn it!

Come to think of it, every time I try to have one of these days people feel the need to flock to me. Take a damn hint people. If someone is being pissy back up off. lol.

I'm looking forward to classes this week. I don't know why. I'm mostly just looking forward to psych and history though.

I so just had another moment where I wanted to go off on someone. Hint: he's a regular pisser offer (I make words up) anyway I'm referring to the always awesome father. If you guessed right I'll bake you a cake or something. Or maybe not but way to go.

I need to go to sleep or something before I for real have to beat someone. But I'm not tired so best of luck to anyone who pisses me off. :) Again why all the anger? Not sure. Oh well.

Dang

So, I'm not too happy about something. Want to hear about it? Of course not but you get to anyway.

On Wednesdays I have a night class. English. Or at least I call it English but DW corrected us repeatedly. It has a specific name and its not English 101. Which is funny because that's what my schedule says. I don't care to learn the actual name for it though so to me its English or my night class. Whatever I honestly don't care, either way its 2 hours and 45 minutes where I have to pretend to pay attention. Be jealous. haha.

That's not my complaint though. We have to blog. Boo. During our first class meeting we got on blogger and had to create accounts for class so we can blog every week and watch ourselves become 'better writers'. I mean if my writing talents haven't showed up by now I'm not expecting a visit. This sucks. I so don't want to be graded on that bull. I'm putting off my blog homework until like Tuesday next week. Its not hard...I just freaking hate being graded on stuff like this. It doesn't help. It just makes me feel like a dumb ass. I've had classes where we had to write journal entries everyday about what we did in class, what we got from it, and what we thought about something. I just don't like it. Its just not my thing. Damn.

Other than that this week has been good I guess. Wednesday was forever long. I do like my classes though. Psych was basically a big party. A really big party. I need to do my homework for three of my classes. But its easy and boring me to tears so I don't want to. I'll get to it eventually. Probably like late Sunday night.

I haven't been getting much sleep lately which sucks. Its late though so I guess I'll try to go to sleep. Long day tomorrow.

Honey and the Moon

First of all, Honey and the Moon makes me happy. Love that business. Brings good memories. :)

Anyway, USI is finally starting this week. All my friends who aren't going there started like 2 weeks ago. But I can't complain about a couple extra weeks of summer. I'm a little worried about a hold I have right now. It shouldn't be there because I've already taken care of it but it is still there and I don't get to start until that goes away. I don't have classes on Tuesdays though so I have all day to tear into some people and make them fix it. Yay. They should really hope it gets taken care of fast because I have no problem giving people shit when they screw up issues with my money. Its on USI! hehe.

I'm also looking forward to this weekend. Saturday I am taking pictures at a wedding with my sister. The wedding is at like 5 and the bride said she was trying to keep it short so I'm cool with that. (The last one I did started at like 10 and we were there until almost 10 that night. It was fun but exhausting.) Plus I think we know some of the people who will be at this wedding so it will make it less awkward. Sunday will be a lot of fun. That's when I'll get to actually edit photos then, one of my favorite parts, make the DVD for them. Doesn't sound that exciting but its entertaining (for at least the first hour and a half) and it means extra money. I don't have a problem with that. :)

So, I guess I should go to sleep. I need to be up by 6. Oh and by the way if the comments on the last post are confusing...just ignore it. lol. I'd blog about it but you couldn't pay me to tell that story on here. lol. Just ask if you really feel the need to know though. I'm off to catch some Zs....