Up to the Present

After we moved, things did get better for me. I continued doing good at school and was involved in a few activities. Throughout high school I always had a lot of friends and was always invited to parties. I smiled everyday and pretended to be in a good mood almost all the time. No one ever knew there was anything wrong. Just the way I wanted it.

For awhile after moving my depression went away. I guess because I wasn't so stressed out about my neighborhood. Junior year it came back though. I'm not sure what did it but it all came back and I was even more depressed than I had been before. I got the most depressed around February and March of that year. I was in winter guard and track around that time so I was always around people but I was still able to hide the fact that I was having problems.

The main reason I started becoming depressed was because of my family. Everyone was always fighting. Mostly my parents. My dad would start arguing with one person then he would find a way to drag everyone else into it. My sister was tired of living at home because of him so she started taking it out on me. Having her yelling at me all the time and putting me down restored all the stress I used to have when I lived on Koch.

She moved out and that took some stress away but my dad has continued to get worse. All my life nothing I ever did was good enough. It got increasingly worse and during my senior year it wore me out really bad. Everyday as soon as he got home from work he'd start yelling at me and that wouldn't stop until my mom got home then he'd just start yelling at her. He thinks I'm dumb because I'm majoring in Social Work in college. He never went to college so as far as I'm concerned he can blow it out his ass. At least I have goals for myself.

So anyway the last two blogs were just getting up to speed. After this it will all be present events I just wanted to give an idea of what I've put up with so far. And its only gotten worse. Until next time.