What's With Today, Today?

Today has been rather shitty. I've dealt with shitty people, I'm in a shitty mood, and classes were shitty. I want to go home. I want to go home, be in the darkness of my room, and just lay in bed. I'm so fed up with certain people right now. I'm filled with so much anger right now about so many things that I'm not even angry.

I don't get people. I just don't fucking get them. I stand up for my friends if someone is talking about them. I help them with stuff. I cheer them up if something is wrong. I do all kinds of shit for them and for what? Because for the most part they all end up turning around on me and being a complete ass. Yesterday I almost punched one of my good friends. I almost hit her with full intentions of breaking something in her face. Teeth, nose, I didn't care. I don't understand why people start acting like complete bitches for no reason. I haven't done a damn thing but suddenly I'm being treated like an ass.

Why do almost all of my the people I choose as friends do this? Not all but a lot of them. I know its not all my fault (I may take some blame but not all of it) because I've had some friends I've known for over half my life and they don't act this way. Why is it that just when people should start being mature they become more childish everyday? Don't get me wrong I don't have some ridiculous idea that all the friends I have now I will have forever, because I know that isn't true (and right now I'm hoping for it) but damn...is it too much to ask for some freaking maturity?

I may not think I'm a good person sometimes, but I am a damn good friend. And that's not something I've ever questioned. I would do more for my friends than some people would do for their own family. So to those of you 'friends' who think otherwise about me, Fuck Off. I don't need or want your bullshit in my life and I'm done with you. You've pushed me to my edge, and I'm about to break.

Twenty People

I’ve been tagged! So, here we go. You write statements to 20 different people and you don’t say who they go to. Sounds pretty simple. Let’s see how this goes…(good luck guessing which one is for you)

1. I miss you everyday. I’m constantly surrounded by reminders of you but I do it by choice. You were a great person and I never want to forget even one detail. Some of them are fading now because you’ve been gone for a few years, but hopefully the ones I still have will stay with me forever.

2. You are like an episode of House. If something medical can go wrong with you, it does. However, you usually find a way to joke about it. You’ve gone through a lot of crap in your life but you don’t let anything hold you back. You are one of the strongest people I know and I love you.

3. You piss me off daily. Daily. You’ve told me I’m a terrible person. You’ve told me I’ll never amount to shit. That’s all just fine and dandy though because I’m going to prove you wrong one day. It will be fun.

4. Oh you silly goose. I hate you so much. I would never truly wish bad things on a person but…damn you are pushing it! Thank you for teaching me the true meaning of the word hate. I look forward to the day I never have to hear about you again.

5. You are my tiniest friend but you have the biggest heart. I’ve known you for 13 years and we still have yet to have even a small disagreement. You are one of my best friends and I don’t know what I’d do without you. You make me smile and I love you!

6. You make me angry. A lot. However, you do have good qualities and despite the numerous amount of times you have pissed me off, you are still a good friend…at times. I know you care, you just have a jacked up way of showing it.

7. You’ve brightened the last 7 years of my life! You have always been a great friend. We’ve bickered and fought before but its impossible to stay mad at each other. Let’s face it; we may as well have been sisters. I love you crazy!

8. You taught me to believe in myself, to be confident, and never give up. You have helped through more things than you know. You are one of the strongest people I know and I really admire you. You are just a great person and I’m thankful everyday because I know you. I love you.

9. Oh my we have had some issues. But I still love you. It doesn’t matter how mad you may be at me (or how mad I am at you) you’ve always been there for me no matter what. I may not get to see you very often but you are one of my best friends and I think I’d go crazy without you. You’ve always had my back even if you were angry with me and I’m glad I have someone like you who is willing to stand up for me when others won’t.

10. You confuse me. Some days we get along great. Some days…not so much. I kind of thought you were a good friend but when it really comes down to it you aren’t. I don’t get you.

11. You are freaking insane. However, you are the good insane. I love being around you because you are goofy as hell (assuming hell is quite goofy at times) and you always put me in a good mood. I haven’t seen you in a long time but thankfully I have enough of our lovely memories to fill in the gaps. Lol. I love you, you crazy, crazy person.

12. Most days…I think I am going to kill you. One of these days it might happen. I don’t hate you yet, but you are really getting there. I’m fed up with your constant bullshit and I really, really hope you start getting the hints that you are about to push me over my edge. You of all people should not want to do that.

13. You are a really good friend. We may not get to hang out much but its always a lot of fun when we do. You’ve done things that you know I disagree with but I still think you are a good person. You just got caught in up some bad things. I don’t care, I still think you are great. I love you…and the nickname you gave me that will haunt me forever. Lol

14. I miss you. All the time. I’m still in denial that you’re gone. I do my best to not acknowledge your death right now because I can’t stand the thought. I guess its supposed to get easier in time because that’s what everyone says. Its never gotten easier for anyone else I’ve lost so I don’t expect it to be that way for you. I love you and I can’t wait to see you again some day.

15. You were one of the happiest people I knew. You were always laughing or smiling and doing something goofy and I miss that. I know that I probably wouldn’t see you much anymore since we aren’t in high school, but I would have given anything for you to have seen our senior year. I miss you big guy.

16. You are my best friend. We’ve fought…oh my have we fought! But you are still there for me anytime I need someone. You always put me in a good mood and I’d do anything for you. Your stubbornness may irritate me sometimes, but its just another reason I love you and I don’t know where I’d be without you around to keep me in line.

17. I miss your face. Lol. I don’t get to see you as often as I’d like. You are one of my best guy friends. I really get irritated with you sometimes but I still love you. You are too goofy and fun to stay mad at!

18. You are you. What can I say? You are a great friend and sometimes we don’t get to talk for months but when we do get to see each other again its like we never missed anything. You’re probably my best guy friend. You know me well enough to finish my thoughts. Sometimes I just look at you and you know what I’m thinking. However, other times I may drop 50 hints and you still can’t catch on. Lol but I still love you anyway.

19. You are stubborn. Oh my gosh you are so damn stubborn. You think you are mature and all grown up or whatever, but you still have a lot to learn. You shouldn’t judge people before you get to know them. You’ve lost your chance to know a great person and if you knew that, you’d regret it everyday.

20. You are so damn funny. For over two years now you have kept me and my friends very entertained…and I don’t even have words for you. Keep up the good work. Lol

Well now I think I will finish carrying out my duty...I'm tagging Megs and Corinne. So get busy! lol

Escape Route

Its Friday!!!

Woo!

I'm all about this weekend. Tomorrow is Semi-state for the band. I'm looking forward to seeing them. Hopefully they will have another successful day. I have to ride with my freaking parents up there though. Shoot me. AND we are picking up my mom's friend PS. Take me now lord. PLUS we are stopping to pick up her son. Shit. I'm sure it won't be so bad. Of course NS will be talking too fast for me and I'll just have to smile and nod but we haven't seen each other for awhile so I guess we should have a lot to catch up on. Well I guess if I feel like jumping out of the vehicle at any time I'll just start texting everyone in my phone. Maybe it won't be so bad. Who am I kidding? It will be ridiculous.

Tonight there is a hockey game!!!!! I freaking love hockey! I haven't been able to go to a game for a long time. As you can tell I'm very excited. Tonight's game is a preseason charity game. Its between the Evansville IceMen and the USI Ice Eagles. This will be the IceMen's first time playing. They just got started this year. Most of them came from USI and played on their team. (I say their team however the USI Ice Eagles are not actually associated with the school like the university's basketball or other sports teams. Some students actually started that hockey team and just use the university's name so they can compete) The IceMen aren't an NHL team obviously. They are on the same level as the Evansville Otters are to baseball. If that makes any sense.

I have a cousin who plays for the IceMen now. He was one of the starters of the Ice Eagles. Anyone who ever attended one game during the first five years the Ice Eagles played would most likely know him. He was well known for his temper and beating the shit out of players on the other team. lol. Its so entertaining. Oh and he was also captain and (depending on which year it was and his position) scored a lot of goals for them but who cares about that part. lol. You'd think since he has such a bad temper on the ice he'd be a real jackass but he's actually really nice and goofy. You'd never know it was the same person. But then again most hockey players are that way. I could have played hockey. I would have been on an Evansville girls team except it costs ohhhh something around way too much. I may love playing hockey but screw the costs.

Well I'm off to see about possibly switching up that driving situation tomorrow. hehe. If I'm lucky I get to drive myself (possibly with a friend) and then get to ride home with BE. Woo! I may piddle myself with excitement if it works out. Or maybe I won't. We'll just have to wait and see. :)

Yo

Well its about damn time. I finally got a new job. The interview was a real hoot. After all the questions she had for me and other such things she wrapped the interview up in an almost enjoyable way...she flat told me I got the job because I'm not trashy. Yay for my not so trashiness? I knew she'd hire me anyway because we kind of knew each other but I just enjoyed her reason. Its "...because you're not trashy like most of the people who work here or come in here. Oh and you seem nice and could probably do the job too I guess." Cute, right? lol I thought so. She went on for like 5 minutes about the trashy stuff and I was like wow this is fabulous. Oh well I don't care. Hell if they want to pay me to scan some items and not be trashy I'm cool with that.

Well I'm bored. I think I am going to go write one of my papers. Or maybe do some research for a different paper. Or maybe do the homework that's actually due tomorrow. Or maybe say screw it all and just go to sleep. :) I think I like that last one the most...

Or maybe none of those now because NS just caught me on an instant messenger. He likes to talk...a lot. I can't keep up with him in conversations. He makes me feel like I'm mentally slow because he talks too fast for my brain to process sometimes. lol. I have no idea what we are talking about right now but he keeps laughing so I just laugh with him. lol. Well I'm off to attempt my escape. Wish me luck!

"Of Course I'm Having Fun

I wouldn’t be any good if I didn’t have fun, you know, the kind of fun a person has on Outward Bound, killing yourself so that afterward you feel great. That’s what we’re talking about here, the kind of travail that brings reward.”

I stole that from a book. I happened to be reading it at the same time winter guard was canceled my senior year. Made me laugh. I wanted to write it down on my hand and slap three girls across the face with it. I’m not bitter about it anymore, I just smile and laugh every time someone mentions that season or when I think of that paragraph. Something reminded me of that though so I decided to post it because I have nothing better to post.

I’d really enjoy going to sleep. However, I’m waiting for a damn song to finish downloading. Its only going to take like 30 more minutes. Shoot me. I thought it would go faster. I could stop it and pick it up later but every time I do that something gets screwed up. I’m an idiot. But at least I don’t try to hide it.

I have a lot of random thoughts going on.
My hair is angering me.
I’m thirsty but I think I’ll just wait until tomorrow to get a drink.
I need to go put some laundry away but its almost midnight so f that.
My eyes are dry.
Who was my second grade teacher?
Mrs…uh. Damn its starts with an L.
Yay 70% of the song loaded.
Mrs…La…DAMN!
Dang I should have wrote that paper.
I wonder if its actually due tomorrow. Maybe I can bs my way out of it like last time.
Damn I’m good at not doing things right.
MRS. LAIDEN! HAHA SUCK IT MEMORY! (idk if that’s how it was actually spelled but its pronounced like that. lol. I don’t care close enough)

No joke I just typed it as I was thinking it. lol. I want to go to bed but this damn song isn’t done yet. I guess I will go find something else to do to pass the time.

Hey its 12:01! Happy Birthday Corinne! haha. Party on campus today! Not really but I’m going to act like it anyway.

AIDS Burger In Paradise

Don't pay attention to the title. lol. Its from south park. Classy show.

Well today was fun I guess.

I got to wake up early so me and a friend could leave at 7:40 to drive a little over 2 hours to cheer on our friends in a high school marching band. I should have known the drive there wouldn't go perfect when my friend got in the car and we realized we didn't have directions (my printer is broken so she said she'd do it but either way we had nothing) So she ran back inside and write them out real fast and then we left. We made it to the town just fine. After that we were only lost for an hour. lol. But we got there eventually. I now have a sunburn. Only on the left side. Left side of my face, neck, and left arm. Its lovely. Not to mention the slight tan line have from my bangs. Its pure hotness. The band did great by the way. They placed first and get to move on. Yay. Looks like another party next weekend. :)

When we were about to head home we got in the car and I asked my friend for the directions, but she lost them. lol. I was like wow we fail. So we followed other people we knew and when we lost them we guessed on which turns to make and we made it home eventually. lol. It wasn't that hard but after driving around that city for an hour before the competition we had trouble remembering which roads were the right ones and which directions to go on them. hehe.

I thought the whole being totally lost thing was funny. Last winter me and AB had gone to a few winter guard competitions together and on our way to one we got VERY lost. It was funny. We got lost for about half an hour before the competition and about an hour after the competition. lol. In the exact same place. I still swear while we were at the competition they switched around were some of those damn buildings were. We had to pull over and look at street maps at least twice. Damn we are awesome. That was somewhere in Indy. I'm not sure where though, all I remember was some creepy guy trying to give us directions (which got us there but made us drive like 5 miles out of the way to get there. We had seen an easier way but just took his advice in case we were wrong...cause we had been wrong for like 20 minutes by that time.)

My face hurts. Just the left side though. Minus the area of my forehead that my bangs covered. I hate sunburns. This is only my third one this year! That's pretty kick ass for me! Usually from April through September I have one like every other day. lol. I had one in April, one in September, and today. If you knew how bad I burn you'd be excited to hear this news. I'm so gonna get skin cancer one day. But I'll make it look cool. I make everything look cool. Not really but I can pretend.

Well I'm kind of tired so I think I am going to go to bed. Tomorrow should be a fun day. Can't wait. :)

Saturdays Can Be Bitches

So 2008 has been the most suck ass year ever. Or at least in the past 18 years.

Had an issue Saturday night involving a friend's house. Won't really say anything about that though cause that's her and her fam's personal business. Quick summary of the event: it was very not good.

*I edited this part. I had a nicer and much shorter version of this up but Megs asked me to post the first version I typed so I put it up for her* Saturday was apparently fun for some other children. By fun I mean not fun. And by children I mean a 30 something year old man who needs to fuck off. DM, I hate you more than you can imagine. I strongly dislike people sometimes. I don't hate people often. Except you, because you are a pompous son of a bitch who seriously needs to be set in his place. One day you will get what you deserve and I can't wait to see it. Don't be giving other people shit just because they are better than you and actually know how to run a guard. Call me a fucking liar, I don't give a shit. Everyone knows you are full of it. I don't care though because your opinion doesn't matter anyway. Honestly, in my opinion you are a worthless, waste of a person . You act like a little kid all the time and you are a jackass to everyone. You try to act like a punk ass all the time just because you think people think you are gay because you are a guard director. First of all you have a wife so that should be good enough, and second it doesn't matter because some people think you are gay anyway. You are joke as a guard instructor. How can you say someone else is a bad instructor when they took the guard that you ran into the ground and built them back up to be at least one of the best from the south in a year? She made a guard who actually won awards and wasn't just laughed at when they came out to perform like you had made them. No experience? Bullshit you little two-faced bitch you wouldn't know experience if it bit you in the ass. But I guess someone with 'experience' wouldn't care if their guard was a joke and someone with 'experience' doesn't even have to show up to run practices, right? Someone with what you call experience is also known as an embarrassment to the school you work for. You're a pathetic piece of shit and you better start watching your ass cause sooner or later you'll be pissing off the wrong people. To give you a hint it will be sooner because everyone, besides the girls that you have lied to for 2 or so years, hates you.

To the three who had to deal with his childish bullshit, kudos. I respect all of you, and always have. Now I do even more. One I’ve known for 7 and a half years, one for about 2 years, and the last one for less than a year; however, I think all three of you are great. I don’t get to really see any of you or talk to you guys very much anymore though I wish I could. I honestly don’t have a bad thing to say about any of you. You guys awesome for real.

I know I wrote this as if the people I mentioned would actually be reading it but they won't be. lol. Maybe one of them. However I had things to say and its easier to say as if I was actually talking to them because I'm more of a face to face conversation person. haha. I guess that's all I have. I'm off to find new ways of avoiding all the homework I have due. =)

Unpredicatble

Hey guess what I'm bored and I don't have anything to talk about so how about random pictures and such? Great!
So, about 3ish years ago I was walking through a parking lot headed into a Walmart. I looked down and saw that Home Depot sign (there is an HD right next to that walmart) I was kind of impressed the sign had made it that far though because the home depot was on the other side. So anyways I took it, obviously. I don't really think of it as stealing. HD wasn't using it anymore and it was on the ground so really I helped keep the environment clean. I'm like a model citizen. lol. Not really. But I was with one of my sisters and I was like yeah I'm totally taking that sign if its still here when we come out. It was, so now its a lovely decoration in my room. lol. It still has tire marks on it.

I hate that freaking skank cube.

"You're screwed for like...six hours!" lol Best Dr. Phil episode ever. Corinne knows what I'm talking about.

First of all, no I didn't draw that. If I did I sure as hell wouldn't post it. But anyways Al Gore and that thing are from one of the best South Park episodes ever. Manbearpig. I'm super, super serial. Even if you don't like SP you need to watch that episode. Its good.

I guess thats about all I have. For now. There's always a chance for more random things. Oh wait...
That's my hero! Not really. Its just part of the creepiest/longest joke of my life. lol. Okay really that was the last random thing this time. I'm off to hunt some z's.

There's Balloons on Your Mailbox, You Know What That Means...

Party over here.

Well first I'd just like to say I am having quite the fabulous hair day. lol True story. I'm in a good mood, at least for now. I'm sure my mom will kill it pretty soon. Today is my sister's baby shower and anytime there is some event that should be fun going on my mom usually makes one of us cry (us meaning me or my sisters) On the day of my oldest sisters bridal shower she actually managed to get all three of us. lol. She gets a little crazy. (as we got closer to the N's wedding that year we were all freaking on what she'd do if she made our lives hell just at the shower, it wasn't too bad though) But so far she hasn't been too crazy so lets hope it stays that way.

So I'm confused on this but I'll say a little bit about what I do know on this. Sound fun? Of course it does. Anyway, N started vomiting like really bad last week and feeling bad so the doctors had her come in for some tests. (here is where I am confused) I thought she was getting tested to see if she had preeclampsia because thats what N told me. My mom said she had it for sure though. So, I was like well whats the test for? And she didn't answer. I'm thinking/hoping my mom might be wrong on that just because obviously I don't want N to have that because its like not good. My mom overreacts to a lot of stuff sometimes though and always thinks someone is dying if they have a sneeze so I'm hoping she's just assuming N has it before she actually knows what she's talking about. N hasn't actually said that she has preeclampsia though so before I start really worrying I'm just going to wait to hear it from her. She should get her results back today probably a little after the baby shower. So today could end up being a lot of fun and good news or a lot of fun and then it could all go to hell. Lets hope we hear some good news. Pray for my sis please.

On a lighter note, the fall festival is this week. WOO! N said it was always her hope to be a fat pregnant woman when the fall festival came because they have just about every crazy craving someone can have. lol. I'm looking forward to taking a couple more years off my life with some greasy food. Totally worth it. I also enjoy seeing the amazing amount of redneck people that come. Its really great when you get a whole little family. Sometimes I take a picture.

So I guess I've put off getting ready long enough. My mom just left so I'm guessing in ten minutes I'll get a call and she'll be freaking about something that's totally not important. I'm off to finish fixing my awesome hair, iron my jeans, and call N to warn her that Hurricane Mother Mary is on the way.

Slowly Winding Down

My dad...makes me hate breathing.

I mean that in the most non-emo way. I know I said I didn't want to talk about this anymore but sometimes I have to. He finds a way to make me regret everything I do. His current thing is making me regret college. Sorry, Dad, I guess I can't live up to my sister who has now been kicked out of college twice over the past year.

I'm only happy when I'm not home. I can't be home and be in any sort of good mood. Even if no one is there he finds a way. Hell who am I kidding? He still finds a way to piss me off even if I'm not home.

I am not a great person. Or for that matter a good person. But I am not a bad person. I fall somewhere in between I guess. I don't know where I really fall but I do know its above a bad person. So, if I am told one more time by that jackass that I am in fact a bad person, I will lose it. And even if I am a bad person, he sure as hell doesn't have any room to talk.

I would like to breath again. I enjoy breathing form time to time. I guess since that's not going to happen though since he is having to much fun choking me (not literally.)