Too Late to Turn Back

I don't know what it is about my car but I think a lot when I drive. lol I feel like I'm always driving somewhere. Usually by myself. Its nice...I like driving, but sometimes I waste too much time thinking about certain things. And other things I ignore completely. lol

Today I realized why my parents were pissed I chose social work. lol. Any one want to take a stab at guessing what my major was going to be? I don't know how many people actually know this other than my family but I wanted to be a surgeon. I know, I know, dumb ginger kids can't be surgeons. And I know people always have unrealistic dreams of what they want to be when they grow up, a doctor, a lawyer, a firefighter, and the occasional stripper. But I honestly have this insane fascination with it. More importantly I have an obsession with the brain. I would have settled for any kind of surgeon but my ultimate goal was to be a neurosurgeon. I'm amazed by the brains functions, the way it can fix itself in some cases, and the way it can destroy itself in others. I know there is like a shit ton of school to go through but honestly it would be worth it in the end...at least to me. So yes, I can understand how this would be a slightly disappointing change in direction. But they still should have supported me.

I didn't change majors because I thought it would be easier. I didn't change majors because social work interests me more because in all honesty it doesn't. I know I could have gotten through the classes to become a surgeon. I have a ridiculous drive and enthusiasm about it. I can't put it into words why I chose social work over my original choice. I want to be able to change people's lives. Another reason I wanted to be a surgeon...to try to help people. However, I decided I'd rather try to help change another aspect of a person's life. I want to help people help themselves. I want to help people find a way to raise their lives to a higher level so they can be happier. I argue with myself, almost everyday over my choice. Its hard. Its hard because I love neurology. But I also love seeing a person smile because someone offered a helping hand to change their everyday life. I keep telling myself I've made the right choice, and I don't plan on changing it. But damn, sometimes I swear I'm going to go to my advisor and switch. But I won't. I've made a decision, and I'm going to stay with it.

Its no real shocker to me on which one I chose. I mean to my friends I'm always offering help and trying to do everything I can to make their lives better. I'm not performing surgeries on them. lol. To a lot of my friends though I am the go to person. People come to me all the time for advice, someone to make them laugh and distract them, or just someone to vent to. I'm one of few people that will actually sit and listen instead of trying to relate people's problems to something that doesn't have anything to do with the situation. I can't help but want to help people. I love seeing people smile and I think everyone deserves a fair chance at happiness.

By the way I find it interesting that I'm amazed by the brain when in reality I am supposed to be mentally retarded. That's not a politically incorrect joke, I had a rare disease when I was young that almost killed me (it attacked my brain and nervous system) and the doctors said I wouldn't live a normal life. Now that I actually wrote that out and thought about it, I'm betting that's actually what sparked my interest in the brain. Or not hell I don't know. Don't judge the ging. lol.